Let me start by clearing up my physio situation. I’ve had no
PAO-specific physio since my final hydrotherapy session with Deborah, two weeks
after surgery. I did have two soft tissue/massage physio sessions (mainly to
relieve my chronic back pain), and I’ve been completing the same exercises that
were initially prescribed in the pool and on land this entire time. Along the
way, I have added exercises of my own and that’s where the ‘self-physio’ came
in. Especially after what’s come to light this week, I’m absolutely disgusted
that the NHS can’t provide a physiotherapist post-discharge who can help PAO
patients.
This week I have experienced my ultimate low since surgery.
It’s the first time that I’ve cried like a baby since October when I had my
pre-op jitters. Obviously I’ve cried since the op, but this week, I’ve blubbed!
Let me explain…
Last week I paid for my final hydrotherapy self-help session,
as I felt that I’d achieved all that I could in the water. While in the waiting
room, I managed to catch Debs for a quick chat and she asked about my
land-based physiotherapy. I explained the NHS/Tolworth physiotherapy fiasco and
that I felt very let down and lost. We mutually decided that I should make an
appointment with her to check my progress. Except for the physios at Guy’s
Hospital, Debs is the only physio around here to have any, let alone extensive,
experience with PAO patients, so I felt it was time to bite the financial
bullet and pay for a session.
I had my session with Debs and spent much of the session
fighting back tears. Every time Debs noticed my eyes fill up, she would remind
me of the positive progress I’ve made: my rotational movement; my hip flexion;
and my overall strength. However, all I could think about were the negatives.
Like any initial physio session, it began with a general
assessment. Debs requested that I walk to her with one crutch, without crutches
and had me stand on my right leg. I thought she was bonkers, but very
reluctantly, did as she asked. It was the first time that I fully weight-beared
in eleven weeks, and when I attempted to walk without crutches and stand on my
right leg, it was absolute agony in the side of my hip. She then had me doing
lots of standing, sitting, lying exercises which highlighted a number of things:
mainly, that I’m nowhere near where I should be. Debs reassured me that my
shortcomings were through no fault of my own and that I’ve been doing the
correct exercises, but at this point down the line, she is concerned as to why
the pain is so intense (when fully weight-bearing) and why I’m not capable of
taking a few steps without crutches.
There were certain things Debs asked me to do which caused an
uncomfortable ‘popping’ of my hip joint. Now, this has been happening all of my
life, and I was under the impression that the ‘popping’ out, or the subluxation
of the hip joint, was caused due to my dysplasia, and therefore it wouldn’t occur
after reconstructive surgery. However, it’s amplified the ‘popping’ and I’ve
been aware of this since day three post-surgery when the physios got me onto my
feet for the first time. I’ve gone through worrying periods, to finally convincing
myself it was fine and that it was only occurring due to my leg length
discrepancy. Debs could hear and see the ‘popping’, which happens mostly when ‘walking’,
and agreed with my earlier thoughts: it was not normal and she was very
worried. Although it doesn’t exactly hurt when it ‘pops’, the intense pain I
feel while attempting to fully weight-bear, occurs in that exact location. Her
concern is that something could be wrong with the hip joint itself which is
preventing my progression. If I’m in the same position next week, she will
voice her concerns to Banksey. In the meantime, she’s given me more exercises
to complete daily, alongside my previous ones and the bike, and she’s advised
that I revert back to two crutches for the most part, whilst taking a few short
crutch-less steps a day to monitor the pain.
There was me thinking I could possibly get away with one
physio session but unfortunately, I’m going to have to fork out for quite a few
if I’m ever going to walk again. Debs also predicted that I’m in no position to
get my left hip operated on in April. It’s not what I wanted to hear but I know
she’s right. Luckily, I spoke with the hospital this week and my surgery has
been moved back to May anyway (with the date to be confirmed soon) so that at
least gives me ten weeks to try and fix this crappy hip.
I feel this ‘popping’ at least eighty times a day so I know
it won’t vanish on its own, so Deborah’s concern does scare me a little – hence
some of the tears. Although, via little self-conducted experiments, I’ve
figured out that if I elevate my left leg (so my hips are level) and perform
the recommended exercises, it alleviates the ‘popping’. This reaffirms that the
leg length discrepancy is a contributing factor. However, I can’t avoid the ‘popping’
while walking; whether it’s with or without crutches.
Whether the hip ‘popping’ is due to an anatomical issue or
just short-term until the leg length discrepancy is rectified, I believe it is preventing
an efficient rehab, which may explain the lack of progression in terms of
walking, and the excruciating pain associated with full weight-bearing and
crutch-less walking. I feel like it’s a lose
lose situation because if something is anatomically incorrect then that
could lead to yet more surgery, whereas, if it’s the leg length, then my right
hip will not fully recover until my left hip is operated on and my left leg is
longer, by which point I’ve got two buggered hips. – Hence some more tears.
Debs recommended that I resume pain relief to cope with the
new exercises and walking, and despite returning to high doses of paracetamol
and ibuprofen, I’m in daily unbearable pain. The pain is on par with what I
experienced in the first two weeks after surgery: granted I’m not on the strong
stuff, but still, 11-weeks post op and I did not expect this level of pain. So
what if my range of movement is great, this absolutely sucks and I’m on the brink
of giving up and becoming a professional couch potato.
This week, I’ve cried a small river, which is nothing
compared to the ocean I cried while dreading surgery, but if when I see Debs
next week and there’s still no progression, I forecast further flooding. Had I received
some PAO-expert help sooner, this almost certainly would’ve been identified and
prevented a lot of negative emotions and feelings.
While tempted at the thought of being a sedentary spud for
life, I haven’t given up just yet; I will happily pop some more morphine if that’s
what it takes to do these exercises though. My check-up with Banksey has been moved
back to the 7th March, which is a little frustrating but it does
give me an extra week. However, if I still can’t walk by then, I know I’m up sh*t
creek and that’s when I’ll throw in the towel.
Conveniently for me, I thoroughly enjoyed drowning my sorrows
in pancakes on Shrove Tuesday, and my darling Valentine brought a smile back to
my face on Thursday with these:
 |
| I may have crap hips, but I'm still a lucky girl. |
P.S. Apologies for any ‘pooping’ that occurred in the writing
of this post. Please let me know if I’ve misspelt any ‘popping’s.
No comments:
Post a Comment